Wednesday 13 May 2009

Of Tribal Stereotypes that Define Kenya

The KALENJIN
Has one Wife
Has one girlfriend
But he loves his wife the most.

The KIKUYU
Has one wife
Has one girlfriend
But he loves his girlfriend the most.

The TESO
Has one wife
Has one girlfriend
But he loves the house maid the most.

The LUHYA
Has two wives
Has two girlfriends
He loves the wives’ sisters the most.

COASTERIAN
Has 4 wives
Has 0 girlfriends
He loves the house boy the most.

The JALUO
Has 4 wives
Has 4 girlfriends
He loves his neighbours wife the most.

The KAMBA
Has one, two three wives
Has several girlfriends
He loves the barmaid the most.

THE KISI! / MERU
One wife many girl friends
He will beat all of them

THE MASAI
Two wives
One girl friend
He loves his cows the most

THE SOMALI'S
Four wives
No girl friend
Loves his miraa the most

2 comments:

Sayra said...

Loll funny ... coasterians na kaos yawa!

cheki hii ingine:--

If you ever get lost in Kenya and want to find out where you are, this is the best way of doing just that.

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who's right - you are in KERICHO.

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and, fearing sorcery, walks on - you are in KISII

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace. The first two get together & beat him up - you are in ELDORET.

Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a chai stall - you are in MURANG'A.

Two guys are fighting and a thrird guys comes. He writes a software program to solve the issue but the fight does not stop because of a bug in the program - you are in NAKURU.

Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly says "aiee, dont fight for all this nonsense". Peace comes in - you are in MACHAKOS.

Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on mobile. Now 50 guys are fighting. Yawa - you are in KISUMU.

Two guys are fighting. A third guy comes to solve the problem, finds out it is all about a chicken tied aside, picks it up and runs away - you are in KAKAMEGA.

Two guys are fighting, a third guy comes and trys to stop them and gets involved and calls others too to stop, they finally stop them - you're in MOMBASA.

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes and struggles to stop them, then he disappears and the two miss their wallets. You are in KIAMBU.

Two guys are fighting whether the shining thing in the sky is a Sun or a Moon, the third guy comes and they ask him whether its the Sun or the Moon ... and he says "How the hell should I know ... I just got here ..." You are in BUNGOMA

Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. Someone calls police. The police come and beat up all the people crowded there. Someone throws stones at the police ... the police throw stones back at the crowd. Some people are arrested. Damages to the shops nearby are made. Next day, a holiday is declared by the government ... finally you are in NAIROBI

Mama said...

Where did you get this stuff? Too much! Who said coastarians love their houseboys? You are spoiling people's names wewe.

Taabu on Taboo