Forget Clones, Speak Original English

Antibody - against everyone

Artery - The study of the paintings.

Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria.

Caesarean section - a district in Rome.

Cardiology - advance study of poker playing.

Cat scan - searching for lost kitty.

Chronic - neck of a crow.

Coma - punctuation mark.

Cortisone - area around local court.

Cyst - short for sister.

Diagnosis - person with slanted nose.

Dilate - the late British Princess Diana.

Dislocation - in this place.

Duodenum - couple in blue jeans.

Enema - not a friend.

Fake labour - pretending to work.

Genes - blue denim.

Hernia - she is close by.

Impotent - distinguished/well known.

Labour pain - hurt at work.

Lactose - people without toes.

Lymph - walk unsteadily.

Microbes - small dressing gown.

Obesity - city of Obe.

Pacemaker - winner of Nobel peace prize.

Proteins - in favour of teens.

Pulse - grain.

Pus - small cat.

Red blood count - Dracula.

Secretion - hiding anything.

Tablet - small table.

Ultrasound - radical noise.

Urine - opposite of you're out.

Varicose - very close.

Of Tribal Stereotypes that Define Kenya

The KALENJIN
Has one Wife
Has one girlfriend
But he loves his wife the most.

The KIKUYU
Has one wife
Has one girlfriend
But he loves his girlfriend the most.

The TESO
Has one wife
Has one girlfriend
But he loves the house maid the most.

The LUHYA
Has two wives
Has two girlfriends
He loves the wives’ sisters the most.

COASTERIAN
Has 4 wives
Has 0 girlfriends
He loves the house boy the most.

The JALUO
Has 4 wives
Has 4 girlfriends
He loves his neighbours wife the most.

The KAMBA
Has one, two three wives
Has several girlfriends
He loves the barmaid the most.

THE KISI! / MERU
One wife many girl friends
He will beat all of them

THE MASAI
Two wives
One girl friend
He loves his cows the most

THE SOMALI'S
Four wives
No girl friend
Loves his miraa the most

Perils of Failing to Listen to Yourself

Joe feared his wife Ann wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he
thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach
her, he called the family Doctor Rick to discuss the problem.

Dr Rick told Joe there is a simple informal test the husband could
perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from
her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears
you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a
response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in
the office. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see
what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for
dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his
wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"


Still no response
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his
wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey,
what's for dinner?" Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

(I just love this)

"Joe, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!"